Welcome to the SDU Athletics
Department

SDU is proud of the money we have saved
on sports activities. (Who says you cant
have fun on a dollar any more?) Our
coaches are the best money can buy
(at there price range) and our facilities are
constantly updated (we have a team of
unemployed alumni volunteers dedicated to
wiring the bleachers back together after
every game. Academic achievement is
paramount for our players... Grades must not drop during the sports season. Most of our player's grades could not drop any more so our attrition rate is very low.

 
Football Schedule
Who Where When
Duck Thieves Home Pending
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

Football:


After seasons of practice and no one to play, the team began to murmur. SDU built some bleachers anyway and "sure enough" they came.
Duck Thieves!
Now the proud Cuspidors practice for their one game. Once a year, on the same day, in full pads, the Duck Thieves arrive putting our team to the test on the gridiron.

 

Cross Country Golf:

The Golf Team is off again. The "holer" proceeds the team wherever he deems fit to plug out holes for the cup and sticks a flag pin in it. The golfers obligingly follow. Sometimes the team runs across the School of Drifting students. change.     This moment is usually quite glib. Shouts are heard:

  •  “Hey, you seen my ball?”
  • “I've seen your divits”
  • “Did Drex borrow any Macks from you?”